i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
