I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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