Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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