I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They have beer where we have blood.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
