He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
