you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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