Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am naked and annoyed.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
