I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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