he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
