I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize