eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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