clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
