I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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