I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
