So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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