it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Found your dick twin last night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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