Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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