my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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