so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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