I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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