I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
