I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
