my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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