RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
