This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
