I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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