dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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