I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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