She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
