he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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