The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
