i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
