Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
