doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
