The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
