i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
