An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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