You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
