every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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