Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
