12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
