I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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