I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
