Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
