The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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