Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize