I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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