I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
