fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
