you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
