Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
