You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
