It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
