none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
