when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
