even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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