Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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