farters have to be the big spoon...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
