New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
