Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
