it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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