I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
