My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize