what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
