So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
