Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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