i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
