You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
