After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize