apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
