she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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