i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
how does that bad decision feel?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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