What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
